I'm sitting here in a middle of my workday, typing these thoughts and listening to Mali Music. I should be working hard trying to advance my company's business. Instead, I'm taking a break trying to figure out what I need to do next. None of the work I'm producing today excites me.
Do I go back to work? No. I work out. I make up my bed. I take a shower. Look at T.V. I do everything else instead of sitting down at my home desk and starting my work. I enjoy my company. I do. I just don't know what I'm supposed to be doing now at this given time. I have no desire to move any other place in the company and I don't have the desire to stay where I am.
I feel stuck and not stuck at the same time. You ask what I mean by that. Well, I'm stuck because I need to keep this job to pay for my living expenses and keep my income until I figure out what I want to do next. I would love just to quit or retire, but I can't afford that. I'm 65, and I'll be 66 in August. I don't want to look for another job, and I can't continue doing my job while feeling this way.
I have all these great ideas, but I don't act on them! Maybe I'm afraid, or maybe I'm just too burnt out to see what's ahead for me.
All I know to do now is take one step at a time and ask God for guidance until He leads me to where I'm supposed to be.
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